Dead Poets
by Angeliz
Summary: House's pick for movie night leaves Wilson feeling antsy. And, you know, slightly homicidal. House and Wilson friendship-ness, but then, I always keep my slash goggles on, so feel free to take it that way.


Note of Authory Doom: Playing with styles again; this time I wanted to try out the dialogue-only fic. It's actually my third attempt at Housefic, but my first to be finished. So I'm posting it. Hope you enjoy! I'm not sure if explanation is needed or not, but if it is, just ask. Heh. Read and review, please. :3

…

"Hey, are we still on for…House?"

"Huh?"

"…Dare I ask what you're doing?"

"Obviously, Wilson, I am _Wikipediaing_. Which you would know if you weren't a cultural recluse."

"I am not a cultural recluse. Is that even a real word?"

"Is now."

"I thought you had a patient."

"Yeah, well, I'm on my lunch."

"It's four-thirty in the afternoon. And I already bought you lunch."

"My other lunch."

"House…"

"Quit lecturing; it's for your benefit, too. I'm trying to hunt down a movie to rent tonight."

"Oh. …Finding anything interesting?"

"Nope. Well, sort of. How do you feel about a pirated version of that new vampire movie?"

"The one blatantly aimed at thirteen-year-old girls?"

"That's the one."

"No. Pirating's illegal."

"Wuss. I don't suppose you have any brilliant ideas?"

"You're the one with the Wikipedia."

"Random it is, then. And I don't wanna hear any complaints."

"Who's complaining?"

"Exactly."

"Just don't pick anything—"

"Nope, sorry. Had your chance. Get out of my office before you ruin the surprise."

"I'm just saying—"

"Out! See you at six. I need a ride home."

"Wait, what about your bike?"

"It's _snowing_, Wilson. Have you even looked out a window today?"

"…I'll see you at six."

…

"Food's here."

"How do you know? Maybe I just have visitors."

"Hah! Since when do you get visitors?"

"Visitors, hookers…tomato, tomahto."

"Right, of course. Where'd I put my wallet? Unless you want to…"

"Hi, Greg House. Have we met?"

"I can dream, can't I?"

"Would you _shut up?_ Knocking my door down won't help him find his wallet!"

"House!"

"What? He's gonna break it."

"Hi, sorry about that. Here, just…no, I got it. Thanks very much. No, you can keep the change. Have a good night."

"So help me if I find marks on my door!"

"House!"

"Wilson!"

"…Oh, shut up and eat your damn food."

"Love you too, dear."

…

"…"

"…"

"…Fuck. Really?"

"That was an ugly tie anyway."

"My mother gave me this tie."

"Your mother has better taste. Movie?"

"I guess…"

"Quit worrying about it. You have about a billion, anyway."

"Huh… What movie did you decide on, anyway?"

"Well, I spent like two hours fishing through Wikipedia before I decided that everything made in the last ten years is boring."

"Something older, then."

"Eighty-nine."

"…Care to clarify?"

"Nope."

"Any particular reason?"

"I like the way you get all squinty when I annoy you. It's sexy."

"I am _not_ squinty."

"Don't look at the DVD menu, Wilson, that's cheating."

"…House, what are we watching?"

"A movie."

"I feel kind of…strange."

"Delivery boy slip a roofie in your lo mein?"

"No, I mean…do you feel like maybe…like, reality as we know it is…imploding, or something?"

"What are you on? And can I get some?"

"Seriously. I'm being serious. I feel like there's some kind of sci-fi thing going on here. Like reality is being torn apart by forces greater than you or I."

"No such thing. Together, we are the masters of the universe."

"House…turn off the movie."

"Why?"

"Just…do it."

"Here, Wilson, I think you might need this. Drink up."

"No thanks."

"Whoa, Wilson, what the hell? Give it back!"

"I _need _it."

"Last I checked, I was the cripple, here."

"I'm _borrowing_ it. Shut up."

"Okay, look, if it means that much to you, I'll just turn it—"

"RAWR! TAKE _THAT_, YOU EVIL, REALITY-SHREDDING BASTARD!"

"_Christ_, Wilson!"

…

"…Here's your cane back."

"…"

"…Nice grip. Sturdy. Guess it'd have to be, to support your giant ego."

"Wilson?"

"Yeah, House?"

"You just killed my DVD player."

"Yes, House. Yes I did."

"…Reason?"

"I told you to turn off the movie. I _told_ you."

"Because…"

"It was going to destroy reality as we know it. It cannot exist in this dimension; the consequences would be dire."

"…Ah."

"Yeah."

"Well…far be it from me to doubt your judgment."

"Don't look at me like that. I know what I felt. I just know it; that movie was out for blood."

"No, I believe you. Really. It's dead now, Wilson, it can't hurt you anymore."

"I wasn't going to…"

"Attack any more of my expensive electronics? Maybe the piano? The refrigerator's been making a lot of suspicious calls lately; could be up to something."

"No, it was…just the movie. I'm done now."

"Well, if you change your mind…"

"I'll let you know."

"…"

"…"

"…So…TiVo?"

"God, yes."

…

"Wilson?"

"Hm?"

"You'll have to explain this to Cuddy tomorrow."

"What? Why would she care?"

"It was _her_ DVD."

"…Cuddy's?"

"Yeah."

"Huh."

"…Wilson?"

"I'm…just going to borrow this for another minute or so."

"Wilson, where are you going?"

"It's for the greater good, House. You understand."

"James?"

"Be back soon."

"James…"

"I'm saving the very fabric of reality. Just let me do what needs to be done."

"…If you must. Be home by three or I'm locking you out."

"See you, House."

"_Carpe diem_, Wilson."


End file.
